Welcome!!! I have decided to take a journey deep into my inner self to discover a deeper sense of peace and maybe even to get some of life's most puzzling questions answered. Feel free to join me on this journey and leave your thoughts...

Monday, June 20, 2011

Male Privelege Part 1 - Date Rape

Male privelege is life without the fear of being raped... also, not having to take into account the importance of personal safety for females. Basic personal safety training can help females recognize warning signs and set healthy boundaries, thereby preventing date rape, druken rape, and domestic abuse...or at least awareness of steps to take when any of these has occured or is about to occur. Our #1 priority should always be to self, keeping ourselves safe is very important.


The following is information from http://www.duhaime.org/CrimeandSafety/LawArticle-53/Date-Rape.aspx

Some studies suggest that up to one in every four women are victimized by some form of sexual assault in their lifetimes.

In an emergency, the human brain is like a filing cabinet and it can quickly recall information once learned. The purpose of this article is to give you a "rape" file so that if you ever need it, you'll have some information to respond with.

Girls must be assertive and say "no" when they mean "no." Girls are often raised to treasure other people's feelings and that means not hurting them. Sadly, this also leads some girls to stay quiet even if they are in danger. Assertiveness is different from rudeness (which is aggressive). Being assertive simply means saying directly and clearly what you mean.

A simple "no" can resolve most unwanted touches. You could say:
"Stop, please. I'm not enjoying this."
"Get your hands off me."
"I don't want to have sex."
"I said "no" and I mean "no"."
Another difficulty is that many girls feel they should be in a relationship, mostly because of peer pressure or because of strong messages left by teen television shows. "Having a boyfriend is cool!" This might even keep them in an abusive relationship. Just remember: being single is great too!

How do you know if your relationship is a good one? In a healthy relationship, your boyfriend will be a good listener and you will feel free to talk about your feelings with him. You will feel like his equal and not like his subordinate. You will laugh and have fun together and he will make you feel good about yourself. If you have a misunderstanding, he will want to work things out with you.

Signs of a bad relationship include jealousy or possessiveness, feeling bad about yourself, criticism or being picked on. In a bad relationship, your boyfriend often ignores or interrupts you. You don't trust your boyfriend and he may try to control you. He may even pressure you into staying in the relationship. He could be violent or frequently display anger. He may show contempt towards women such as calling them "bitches" or saying things like "they should stay at home." He may be nice to you when you're alone but a jerk when his friends are around. If he forces you to have sex, get out of the relationship (at the very least. You should also talk to the police about the assault). Other bad signs are a guy who drinks too much or who likes to get stoned on drugs.

Remember: you don't have to date anybody. There is no law that says that you have to date. It's your heart and body. Treasure it and protect it. Think about sex and what it means to you. Decide what your values are and how far you want to go before you get into a situation with your date. Listen to your feelings. If you just want to cuddle, say so! You have the right to say "no" to sexual contact. Any sexual contact without your permission is a crime.

Here are some final tips on avoiding date rape:

Avoid parties or groups where alcohol or drug use is excessive. Studies of date rape show that 75% of the date-rapists, and 55% of the victims, had been drinking or taking drugs before the rape occured.

Avoid people who make you feel uncomfortable.

If you're going to a party, establish a buddy system with a friend; watch out for each other.

When you're leaving, don't announce that you're walking alone. Try to walk home with a friend or in groups.

Don't give a whole bunch of information about yourself to a person you just met.

People can't read you mind: if someone's doing something to you that you're not comfortable with, say "no."

Always have some taxi money in your pockets in case you want to go home.

Never walk home through deserted areas like parkland or railroad tracks.

Do not hitchhike.

More info: http://www2.truman.edu/~aweitz/prevent_date_rape/

I originally published this to Myra Speaks on Facebook, February 11, 2011.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Cultural Diversity Curriculum

It is one of my lifelong dreams to create a cultural diversity curriculum for elementary school children ages PreK-6th grade. It is my belief that teaching children the truth about their heritage while they are in their elementary school years will benefit them greatly for the rest of their lives.

My curriculum would focus on helping adults to help young children foster healthy self-esteem, cultural pride, and multi-cultural awareness. Ideally children would develop a joy of lifelong learning from a global perspective as well as interest in, tolerance of, and acceptance of the world’s cultures. Issues would be addressed such as negative images seen on television as well as any other experience they might have in which they are devalued or are made to feel less worthy because of the color of their skin, cultural beliefs, etc.






The Truth

For example, to teach young children, “Christopher Columbus discovered America” is not really providing them with accurate or culturally sensitive information. The truth is that Columbus discovered America for the Europeans who did not yet know about it. Somehow ths story is always told from the Eurocentric point of view, but do we ever ask ourselves what this image does to Native American and Hispanic children (basically any child with ancestors who were indigenous to the North and South American continents)? I would like to structure the dialogue in a way that it at least makes logical sense and reports accurate cultural information.

In my curriculum, Elementary School children would really start to learn about colonialism around the 4th grade, and I think they should learn the truth, not watered down versions or versions that show all people getting along or how that system worked well. Slavery is my history…it has shaped who I am and it has shaped America. Africa is my history, it has shaped who I am and it has helped to shape America.

It is important for all people to see value in people who look like them. 1.) I want to show children people who look like them, especially Hispanic and African-American children. 2.)I want to send positive and important messages to children about people who look like them daily. 3.)I would like to teach children the truth about people who look like them daily. So not just in February…and not just when celebrating Cinco de Mayo, Kwanzaa, and Hanukkah, although those pieces of culture are important. I do not want any culture to be reduced to celebrations because there is more to it than that.



Global Awareness

When I was in the 6th grade, I remember taking World History. It was very sad that there was very little information there about my own culture, about people who looked like me.

Most educational programs nowadays try really hard to engage children in the learning process and encourage young children to become lifelong learners. My curriculum would focus on this as well but it would also help children learn about world events, and help them to develop a more global perspective so that the information learned and the excitement for learning is not lost as children transition into puberty.

So Geography would be a vital and neccessary part of this curriculum. In 4th grade, most children can name the 50 states but can they name any of the countries in Africa, countries in South America, or cities in Mexico? Do they know about Australia and India, as well as the European countries? Because that is what it means to be American. Being American means to draw upon different influences…to be a part of that melting pot or mixed salad so to speak, and in many ways, both.




The Social/Emotional Experience

So how do you explain colonialism to a diverse group of grade-school children without scarring them for life? The most important aspect of my diversity curriculum would be helping children/parents/teachers deal with the difficult emotions surrounding the issues. To be successful, the curriculum cannot neglect to help children start to understand the concept of White Privelege at an early age. So my curriculm would be social-educational in nature whereby we teach facts but we have to deal with social and emotional aspects. I would really prefer this to lying to them. Even if the curriculum is only used partially, it has to include the social/emotional supportive piece.

We don’t want to over-simplify facts, but we would want to help them to try to see the complexity in it all…because even as adults it is still all very complex. They, as do we, have to understand that everyone is going to view situations differently and have different experiences. But by the time these children reach middle school/high school they will have in their tool belt, the skills needed to combat hatred and to maintain healthy and diverse relationships with others. I think that after years of implementing this curriculum in Elementary schools, cliques in the secondary schools would dissipate, or at least not be represented in the way that they are today.

Every child should feel valued by their teachers, principals, parents, and peers...but does every child feel that their culture is valued?





My Motivation

One thing that inspired me to write this article is the issue of Colorism/Shadeism and the research that I've done regarding this topic.

Colorism or Shadeism is discrimination based on skin shade/skin tone vs discrimination based on race/ethnicity. I have compiled a playlist on youtube for anyone who would like to know more about the topic. This playlist features mostly video documentaries which address the issue of colorism/shadeism. At this point, even I have not watched all of them in entirety…overwhelming.

Youtube Playlist: Skin Color Issues, Colorism, Light Skin vs Dark Skin

Monday, June 13, 2011

My Dating Profile


What I am looking for…

1. I am ultimately searching for a Life Partner. At age 28, I’m all for having fun, but I really hope to build a relationship with that special someone who I can settle down and start a family with. Yet even though I’m seeking that life partner, I prefer a partner who is patient and relaxed when it comes to dating. I do not want to move too fast or try to have too much too soon.

2. I need a partner who can be understanding, supportive, and sensitive of my feelings; someone who will be a support to me throughout life’s endeavors, trials, and tribulations.

3. I need a partner who can stimulate my mind, who is an intellectual/thinker. I am a lifelong learner and I would like to find someone who is the same.

4. I would like to meet men who are at least somewhat financially stable and emotionally centered, despite the fact that many people are experiencing hard times during our country’s economic crisis.

5. I am someone who believes in natural highs, holistic health/wellness, and having fun in moderation. I don’t smoke and I drink alcohol, rarely. I prefer to be around people who are like me in this sense.




6. I like my partner to be down-to-earth and realistic, yet I appreciate men who are positive thinkers as well, who know how to use positive language.

7. I have a strong sense of morals and values and I would like to find someone who shares my deep sense of morality.

8. I would like to find someone who knows how to maintain good boundaries and has respectful relationships with others.

9. My special someone should definitely have the same interests as I do. I think that people who believe in the same things, and people who like to do the same things, definitely have less to argue about.

10. I am interested in men who believe in equality between males and females. If we do go further in the relationship, I will know you are someone who will be an asset to our household, physically as well as financially.




My Interests…

1. Yoga
2. Church/Spirituality/Worship
3. World Issues
4. Health and Wellness
5. Outdoor Events/Parks/Lakes
6. Festivals/Museums/Attractions
7. Traditional Family Events
8. Movies
9. Theater/Dance
10. Dining



Important to know about me…

Something that prevents me from doing a lot with some people, are my allergies. Specifically, I am allergic to pet dander (all cats and all dogs).




My idea of a great first date…

Great first dates for me, last only about 2hrs and are during the daytime with very little or no drinking.

I believe the whole purpose of the first dates (at least the first 5 dates) is for us to spend a little bit of time getting to know each other in a one-to-one setting, and also giving ourselves the opportunity to enjoy each other without the pressure of feeling like we’re already in a relationship. So the date should be something that is mutually fun, inexpensive, and lasts only a couple of hours. I prefer to first get to know someone during daytime activities with very little or no drinking.

Examples:
1. Museum (self-paced walking tour)
2. Informal Lunch (Starbucks and surf the internet, Cici’s Pizza and afterwards play arcade games)
3. Small (not crowded) festival, water park, amusement park, or fair. (not crowded)


Bad ideas for a 1st date...
1. Movie Theater
2. Staying in (at either person’s home)
3. A Family Event/Tradition
4. Night Club/Bar