Welcome!!! I have decided to take a journey deep into my inner self to discover a deeper sense of peace and maybe even to get some of life's most puzzling questions answered. Feel free to join me on this journey and leave your thoughts...

Monday, March 21, 2011

Finding A Husband: A Woman's Reputation

If I had to think about all the things life/society has taught me about finding a husband I would have to divide it into two categories, traditional and current. Traditional would be what my mother and grandmothers’ generation was taught:



5 traditional sayings for women looking to find a husband:

1. “Why would he buy the cow when he can get the milk for free?"

2. “Keep your legs closed!”

3. “Always be a lady.”

4. “Respect yourself.”

5. “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”





Well in today’s society, still within the 3rd sexual revolution of the 20th century, all of that has gone straight to hell! Men are still getting used to women having more freedom and power in the workplace as well as the home…yet how we as women view ourselves, sexually, has changed a lot!





10 ways to find a husband in 2011:



The most recurring theme “A good woman knows her place and reverberates with all of her being that men are God.”


1. “Know your place!”
2. Dress and act more provocatively.
3. Get a reputation for yourself as easy, appeasing, “down for anything.”
4. Never be outspoken if it makes a man feel uncomfortable.
5. Let him cheat on you. Just ignore it and forgive him.
6. Act like you have no self-esteem so that you appear to be more needy.
7. Cheat on him at least once.
8. Remain open in the bedroom. After all, “What he can’t get at home, he will find elsewhere.”
9. Say yes when you really mean “No!”
10. Don’t be fake when you call yourself a “bad b**ch” because you will have to prove it!


I think we need to take a look at the messages young girls of today receive about love and marriage. Twenty years ago, you might hear someone say, “It is better to be a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed.” Today it seems that it is more attractive to be the "bad" girl publicly versus behind closed doors. Both women and men today raise the “bad b***h" up on a pedestal. Many of today’s men claim to want the "baddest b***h" sitting on their lap.



It would seem to be that today, of the married couples I know in their 30s and under, men flock to women who they know will cheat on them. The reason for this I’m not completely sure of, but maybe he feels success in taming her animalistic nature, or at least trying to. Or maybe it is that he has decided to keep the baddest b***h around for life, while he entertains himself elsewhere as well.



So my final question is this: Do I need to make a sex tape to find a husband in today’s society in order to make myself more wifey-like? If I just follow the traditional sayings, what type of husband can I expect to attract, if any?”

Monday, March 14, 2011

Saying Good-bye - Part 1



Saying good-bye is a part of life. Sometimes we choose it and other times we have no choice, the good-bye chooses us. People move away, go to jail, die, vow to never speak to you again, ask you not to contact them…all these things…and while the world keeps spinning on its axis as if nothing ever happened, you are shaken to the core. Every time I have to say good-bye to someone who I love deeply, I feel as if I am a different person…I am still me, however, different now without that person in my life.

It’s as if all of a sudden you’re standing still or wandering slowly down a busy street watching everyone and everything move in a fast blur, as if in a dream. You wonder where everyone is going, what everyone is doing, and for a moment you feel lost and forgotten because you’re moving too slowly. Faces and bodies are a blur as they leave you behind. You're standing there wondering what step to take next, which direction to go in, and what to do when you get to wherever it is that you’re supposed to be. Then you realize that maybe it’s just best to stop, sit, and wait until life makes sense again.


After a little while of pausing for reflection, you find yourself just going through the motions trying to look normal or to at least look like everyone else. You pretend to be the same. You try to blend in but you’re so far away…so lost. Living for you is like singing the “ABC” song; it sounds the same every time. You follow predictable cues and act accordingly, but you’re not there. Friends call you on the phone and you ignore them. You say to family and friends, “I’m tired,” or “I’m busy,” but you really want to say, “I can’t talk to you right now because I don’t care about what you’re talking about.” You just want to hear silence…or maybe the sounds of comforting rain, rush hour traffic, or soft music…anything that doesn’t require you to think. And you want to sleep a deep and peaceful rest so that maybe when you wake up you’ll care; you’ll be engaged and aware of life again. You will have moved on.