The Definition of Shame

When I write, I like to throw all of myself into my writing. My first step before I write anything is to determine how I feel deep down inside about the subject matter. This ensures that the message comes from the heart or that it is at least worth the time it takes to write about.

Lately, I am faced with the realization that it is easier for me to write about some topics than others... Just thinking about it, I am scared. I'm not only scared of sharing, journaling, or writing about my thoughts and feelings, but I'm afraid of even really exploring the ideas any further in my own mind. "Uh-oh," I said to myself. You have found a weak spot. You have found territory that you’re afraid to roam...a space that you don’t want to enter. And frankly, I’m a little bit surprised by the extreme emotional reaction of feeling the need to gag myself. That’s not who I am, right? But still, I’m not ready… I'm faced with the inner struggle to be myself.

One thing I can say now, is how oppressed I really am. I’m thinking about making up a new Facebook quiz titled, “How oppressed are you?” No, not really. But seriously, I realize that having to hide and suppress yourself in everyday life can take its toll.

I guess I’m afraid of hearing that I'm wrong...not that my opinion is wrong, but that who I am is wrong. What I think is wrong. What I feel is wrong. Who I am is wrong. That is the definition of shame.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/shame

noun \ˈshām\
Definition of SHAME
1
a: a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety b: the susceptibility to such emotion
2
: a condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute : ignominy
3
a : something that brings censure or reproach; also : something to be regretted : pity b : a cause of feeling shame